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My March 2001 Writings

My March 2001 Writings

09 March 2001

My Friday Fancy

I remember a time when I thought I'd never trust a single soul but mine. Many years have past since last I had such a foolish thought. In the years long gone (and possibly in the ones to come) I've trusted far too easily and much too quickly. I've always expressed my heart and soul completely. Each time I love...each time I trust...I feel as though beauty surrounds me. Then, my love is lost, my trust betrayed and I vow once more never to display such foolishness. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever learn...or perhaps it is simply in my nature to give my all to those I meet. I see beauty in each new face that crosses my path. Try as I will to refrain from allowing others to know my heart, alas I can not. Deception has never been one of my strong points. I count this as a good thing, but there have been many (both family & friends) who have told me that I'm far too honest for my own good. Try as I might...I simply cannot understand how honesty can ever be a bad trait.

A man has crossed my path during the past year to whom I was unusually drawn. Each time I saw his face, I saw beauty beyond compare. Each time I heard his voice, I felt a gentle tenderness. Unfortunately, his world has taken him to another place. I miss his smiling face. I never knew this man's heart or soul, but that was not for lack of longing. He kept his distance for reasons I do not know. Perhaps fear of getting too close? Or anxiety because we are of two very different worlds? Regardless of what made him put a wall around his heart, I hope that time will not pull this friendship apart. I will continue to write to him in hopes that I will at least bring a smile or two to that face so kind. I felt a connection with him though there was/is so much I do not know. He is still so fascinating to me, so intriguing. I hope one day he will learn to trust me enough to share his soul.

Yes, I know I'm babbling, but when has that ever been a surprise? My mind has been racing and since I haven't had the strength (or perhaps desire?) to write down my thoughts, it's difficult to organize them now. Instead, I feel it may be best to refrain from recording them tonight. Sweet Dreams, my friend.


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